& I could only watch as you fall,

Hope, & Pray.

Trust, a simple 5 letter word but takes so much more courage to be put into action.

Some things just can't be said, no matter how much assurance was given. Because things change, people lie and promises break, nothing ever stays the same. Life is about changes and being ready for them. And at times, still able to stay sane & strong enough to carry on.

& it kills me inside to know I can only watch you fall down, breaking down and succumbing to these circumstances. No matter what, I'll always be there for you with you. It's a promise I can never break, because it's me.

But deep down I fear, fear that one day it will be my turn. My turn to fall. I'm so afraid that I would not be able to pick myself up after that. And I'm also afraid to know who will really be there for me, when everything falls apart

And it's scary to know how superficial one can get or how one lie to get what they want, or pretend to be who they want to be.

Aren't you ever tired?

Because I really am, I hate this kind of competitiveness, I really hate it. It feels like a never ending race, a never ending climb which only gets harder to push on and carry on.

You dont have to put others down just to win, do you? Does it really make you feel better? Will it still make you feel good if you know that each time you do what you do, someone dies a little more on the inside? Bit by bit, it dies and as it dies, whatever that person thought of you would also fade away along with it..

Was it ever worth it?

I don't want to lose myself, ever.

P.S

I think I finally found the person closest to who I've always been looking for. And I hope this won't change. Please don't break me because I wouldn't break you.